theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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