Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
