Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
