Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i need some magic done to my vagina
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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