I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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