I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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