She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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