Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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