Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
