You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
