so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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