I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Randomize
