I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
