thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
