I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
