Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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