I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize