I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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