Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
