Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
