Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
