I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
