What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We got so high we made milksteak
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
