This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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