I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
