the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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