I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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