isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
