end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
