does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
