When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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