Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
