I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
