Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
