wat bout pragnant strippers??
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
