There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
