I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
