yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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