He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize