spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize