i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize