the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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