So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
