Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
