i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
