for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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