Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
