your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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