some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize