I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
