idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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