What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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