hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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