my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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