I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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