just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it glows. i had to have it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
