Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
