I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
