i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I supernannyed him into submission
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
