hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
