Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
