needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
