I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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