Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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