You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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