i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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