I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
