didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
