I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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