he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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