I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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