sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
