The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
this is an emotional support booty call
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
