PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
