Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
